The Real Reason Saying “I Don’t Know” is Hard

As a kid, I had a reputation for being a math whiz. Whatever problem the teacher put on the blackboard, I already knew how to solve it. I aced Geometry, Algebra 1, Algebra 2, and Trigonometry; math just seemed to come naturally to me.

Then, I hit Precalculus.

For the first time, I was getting many things wrong. But by then, I had come to accept the self-image of being a math whiz. I couldn’t imagine being someone who didn’t understand math. So, I began pretending that I knew what I was doing.

But you can’t do that in math. If you don’t get the right answer, you’re just wrong. That’s why math is humbling.

My lack of understanding showed up in my midterm grades, and I ended up barely passing Precalculus. Afterward, I was still pretending to know. I blamed teachers, my school workload, and my part-time job for my struggles. I refused to accept that I didn’t understand advanced math concepts.

I now know what was wrong. I was afraid to say three dreaded words: “I don’t know.”

Why don’t we say “I don’t know”?

I’m not the only one who has a hard time admitting that I don’t know. There are many people who don’t admit to what they don’t know. Why? What’s so scary about it?